The beginning

June 3, 2013

These last few days have been a bit traumatic.  I've said goodbye for a whole year to lots of people I love dearly and I'm saying hello to a lot of unknowns.  It hasn't been exactly easy, but it's been good and I've realized a few things.

1) it's not all about me.  Even though this is a bit scary and and I don't want to have to leave my family and friends for a year, me going to Mexico isn't just about me, it's a lot bigger than that.  While in Mexico, I'll get to show love to little children who don't have loving parents like the ones I left behind.  I'll be able to show them that even though this world is fallen, there's redemption through Christ.  As I hug the little children, wipe off their dirty little faces, and put them to bed, I'll BE the hands of Christ, comforting these precious kids.  I will get to be the love that I love so much at home.  As much as I may miss my family, friends, and the comforts of home, it's definitely worth it to give someone else what I love so much.

2) it's not just about the kids, it's about Christ.  I can only give these kids the love they need because I received love.  Some days, the dirty diapers, spit-up, and whining will be sure to bog me down, but that doesn't mean I have to give up; it means I'll get to press on.  Now, I won't press on because I'm superwoman and have endless amounts of love to pour onto cute, but selfish children; I'll be able to persevere because feeling like I'm doing good that's appreciated isn't what I'm here for.  I'm here because this is where God's called me and I want to obey, whatever it takes, because my life isn't mine any more, it's God's.  And knowing that means that the purpose of my life isn't making me feel good; no, I'm here to bring God glory.  When I see the kids' sin instead of God's likeness in them and I want to give up, I'll be able to remember that we're not the only two parties involved, it's much grander than that.  Those hard-to-get-through days will be parts of the story of the world.  Those days will be building up to something far greater.

3) I'm the answer to somebody's prayer.  This baby home has taken a long time in coming.  Many people have prayed for it for years, many hands helped to build what will soon be my home.  I'm sure that many saints have prayed, asking for God to establish it, but not seeing how that could possibly happen. Before I even knew where Mexico was, people have been praying for this home, asking that staff would be provided.  When I see my trip to Mexico as more than me being away from home for a year, more than me being a "good" person, it's exciting.  I'm at the climax of a story that's been unresolved for years, and even though I wasn't there to see the beginning, I get to see and be at the resolution.  Now that's exciting!

I'm sure that this three-point motivation won't seem so amazing when I'm awakened at 2:13 in the morning when I'm helping a scared child get back to sleep, nor will it seem so enthralling when I've just gotten spit-up all over my face, but at the very least it can serve as a launching pad for my trip, giving me a good vision for what this next year means.